Thursday, March 11, 2010

Do You Buy Antiques?

"Do you buy antiques?" That's the question that will make every antique dealer I know cringe.  How are we supposed to answer this? The immediate thought that comes to mind is, "How the heck to you THINK I get this stuff?" However, it is not polite to say this out loud.

I have a couple of answers, depending on who's asking.  If I am face to face with the questioner in my shop, I usually say brightly, "No. As a matter of fact the Antiques Fairies leave things on the front lawn each morning for me to gather up." This generally elicits a blank look, and then a slow look of understanding that I have made a funny.

Depending on my mood, I may instead confide, "No, my husband and I make them in the basement. Was there something in particular you wanted?" Again, a blank look usually ensues, and then a dawning recognition of the stupidity of the question.

Those posing the offending question are always trying to sell me something, and it is amazing how many of them "have absolutely no idea" how much money they want for the object at hand.  In this situation my answer is always the same, "I'll give you ten dollars." Doesn't matter what it is, an armoire or a bread box: "I'll give you ten dollars." From the shocked look I surmise they are thinking of a bit more cash. "Ah, so you DO have an idea how much you want!"  I find this perhaps unorthodox method saves quite a bit of time in negotiations.

That's all for now...I need to be awake early to see what the Antiques Fairies bring me tomorrow!


  1. OMG. LOL. I think this just became my favourite blog. The guy you got to write this for you is obviously very witty indeed.

    But really now. You never said. DO you buy antiques?

  2. Hehehe. The Auntique fairies must be cousins with the laundry fairy who visits the family drawers leaving clean clothes in her wake. Gotta love those mythical helpers!

  3. I love those people. I get those calls DAILY. I love it when they say I know it's old my grandmother owned it and she was 86 when she died. I always want to say, well Wal-Mart has been around for at least 25 it may not be as old as you think ;-) but I never do. You gotta love em though! Once in a while I do get shocked at what someone brings in...but most of the time it is a BUST. The thrill of the hunt keeps you going.......

  4. I just found you........and your blog. This one made me laugh out loud..........I guess because it is so true. And, I have had very similar thoughts. I've actually told people that I make the stuff in my back yard. Once I posted a note at the counter "Do NOT ask me where I get my STUFF!" That's another constant question that really aggravates me.

    I'll keep a watch on your blog. I can always use a laugh and love your sense of humor.